It is absolutely beautiful here today around the DC Metro area. I have my windows open, the gentle breeze is flowing in each window. It almost feels like May. I love the month of May.
But before the windows opened – and the spring like feeling embraced me – I had rain.
Today I asked for my mother back. I wanted her to be standing in my kitchen [or me in hers] listening to my mother remind me what adulthood is all about. As she would hug me letting me know this is not an abnormal feeling. It’s normal. I’m not crazy. I’m not losing my mind. I’m quite capable of working through this …. whatever this is.
What this is is me on limited sleep and high caffeinated beverages. Supercharged emotions keeping me moving, yet too many sleepless nights have me ready to book a cruise, even though I despise cruise ships. And then my guilt kicks in because I don’t want to book any cruise on some contaminated ship full of tourist wearing their Lilly Pulitzer attire waiting for the next port.
I’m waiting for the rain to stop on this beautifully perfect sunny day.
Murphy started out my sleeplessness by making two visits to the veterinarians office. After numerous test, and X-ray, some antibiotics and a bland diet….Dr. B, is hoping Murphy will only be back to visit on the next puppy physical scheduled in two weeks. Mulch has been her obsession, however mulch is the devil in this scenario. [I’ll spare you the graphic details] She’s going to learn rather quickly some new commands, or wear the cone of shame. No matter the outcome – Murphy gave us quite a scare.
I later learned that a high school friend passed away suddenly. It was shocking to many of us. Sabrey followed Momma Daisy as well as Murphy’s law blog. A wife, mother and sister. A friend to many.
I have no right to complain.
College Daughter came home Saturday morning. This was her day for oral surgery. Dr. P, is amazing, and comes highly recommended in the DC Metro area. However, when a twenty year old searches high and low on the internet of complications from wisdom teeth extraction- though she was instructed not to do so from Dr. P and his staff – as well as her father and I – everyone else and everything else became her absolute truth. You must love Facebook and the monumental support of comments that only put her more over the edge. Those peeps became a piñata for me in my dreams. Just kidding! No, really I’m not because I’m still coming down off of a Caramel Mocchiato – Venti. no decaf please
College daughter came out of her surgery just fine. Dr. P, and Football Superstar walked her to the elevator as I worked as valet parking – thanking those patrons from Bar Louie as to not bark at me for blocking their view of Redskins park or the super televisions that play videos or sports channels 24/7. The beginning of Al fresco dining.
Football Superstar needed to meet an out of state client. I drove home trying not to laugh at our daughter who continuously patted my arm as if she were petting Murphy. Mumbling things, giggling, then hysterically laughing. Mumbling “I love you”….to “where’s that”….. to finally floating back into the state I found her in after surgery.
Once we arrived home – I got her in bed. I sat for one moment. Looking at Murphy, thinking about the daughter who is home – that moment when she was a toddler having surgery on her hand and feet right after arriving on US soil.
I began to cry. Wanting my mother so badly. Asking her if I’m doing this right.
Why am I twisting with torment by everything? I’m not the one with puppy-poopers and a swollen jaw. It’s not my tornado. It was College Daughters and puppy Murphy’s perfect storm.
My mother did show up. I found her smile. Her soft soothing voice telling me I am doing everything just fine. And though I carried the anchor for pulling this perfect storm in thanks to a wonderful supportive husband, caffeine and Godiva extra dark chocolate brownie mix – I’m dried out. The sunshine dried up the rain.
It doesn’t erase my desire to have my mother here with me. I know it’s selfishness as well. My selfishness to hand over the storm to a woman who carried many anchors. She could calm the worst of storms. And she never booked a cruise on a contaminated cruise ship with tourist wearing their Lilly Pulitzer attire. But she did book a vacation – a far away vacation.
Thank you Mother.